Below is a relatively brief analysis of a relationship between an unmarried male and female in their mid-twenties. Their names and personal information shall remain anonymous. I personally know nothing about either of their relationship histories or about their current relationship. This analysis is based purely on the astrological dynamics of their individual birth charts as well as the composite chart for the relationship itself.
Her Story (her natal chart) (click to enlarge)
She has had trouble in past lives balancing her own creativity within relationships that tend to eclipse her own needs. In this life, she struggles to maintain equality in relationships while being authentic in her own self expression. She tends to feel creatively stifled in relationships as if her partner is holding her back. In reality, she is choosing partners which will reflect her belief that she cannot express herself authentically and still be part of a relationship. Her unconscious concept of a relationship is that a relationship can only exist with self-sacrifice and/or self-neglect. She is learning in this life how she can maintain her authenticity within a relationship. She is also learning how to trust life and trust her own emotions rather than just do what she’s told to do to maintain her relationships.
She is very attracted to partners who can satisfy her emotional need to expand her awareness. She sees partners as a way of opening her up to new venues. Whether it is through books, travel or any other kind of learning, she looks to her partners to serve as her opening point. She is also very interested in depth and intensity in her relationships. She has no doubt had her share of intense interactions which have, by default, forced her to grow but perhaps not always in the way she is seeking. She tends to idealize her partners and her relationships in general, often sugar coating them or adjusting herself to the situation when she fears that an end may be near.
Her ideal relationship would be one that inspires her to be her own authentic self and one in which she feels loved with the depth and intensity she desires. It would offer her the freedom she needs to explore while offering her stability and encouragement for the tangible output of her copious creativity which she craves with regards to her life path.
His Story (his natal chart) (click to enlarge)
He comes from past lives where he was very unconventional and perhaps ahead of his time or a rebel of some kind. Either way, there was some neglect or guilt related to his personal day-to-day responsibilities and with his disregard for conventionality which either left himself unhealthy or which created instability for those around him. In this life, he is trying to take all of his progressive creative inclinations and put ‘pen to paper’ so to speak. He intends to take a path of deep learning, investigation, and exploration and to then make his findings and/or inspirations tangible in some form; perhaps through writing. He is also learning how to trust his own emotional inclinations rather than feeling guilty about taking a less than conventional path in life.
His image of the feminine is one of rigidity and practicality. Perhaps his mother figure was either so unpredictable that he had to create his own stability and neglect his creativity or she was a task-master type who instilled values of practicality and pragmatics over freedom of expression and fun. In either case, these themes are also present in the types of partners to which he is attracted. He may choose partners which he perceives to be stifling to his creative expression or who seem to be ripping him from the clouds down to an earthly reality that seems much more dismal than what he envisions. His relationships can feel intense at times since part of him loves the sense of stability that these types of partners bring while part of him feels locked in a cage. Nevertheless, he aims to please when it comes to his partnerships and in many ways it actually feels emotionally satisfying to know that things are being put into order in some way.
His ideal relationship would be one that allows him the freedom to go on his adventures, whether they are of the mind or actual travels. His ideal relationship would also need to provide him with a sense of stability that he needs to feel emotionally secure.
What She Sees in Him
From her perspective, he appears to be someone that could potentially raise her own status in life. He opens her mind to new information and possibilities while maintaining an intensity that she finds appealing. She sees him as someone that she can not only get close to emotionally but with whom she can potentially partner with from a business perspective. She also appreciates his intense approach toward her as she receives it very well. Though his need for order and stability can be a struggle for her, she knows deep down that by opening herself up to a higher degree of stability, she is growing in ways that will help her down the road on her own path.
What He Sees in Her
From his perspective, she seems to be able to tug at his heart strings. She finds ways to uncover some deep childhood conditioning and wounding in him which he can then heal and release if he chooses. This can be very intense at times as he learns new ways to get things done that are different from the way he was taught. Fortunately, she also stimulates his own sense of fun and creativity, inspiring him to pursue her romantically. He feels like she is a fun person and an inspiration for his own authentic creations. He appreciates the way that she receives and accepts his intense advances and overtures. Her need for freedom and exploration can sometimes leave him feeling insecure and trigger an intense reaction from him to maintain control. But he knows deep down that by opening himself up to trusting life and others in his life, that he is experiencing valuable growth.
The Relationship as an Independent Entity (composite chart) (click to enlarge)
This relationship probably started out very quickly and likely had the type of initial chemistry you read about in romance novels and see in the movies. But high intensity and emotional overload is coupled with the insecurity of actually expressing what was going on inside. While both individuals here could likely verify that the initial meeting was intense and full of chemistry, anyone else present at the time of the meeting might be surprised to hear that description and insist that they saw something more subtle. And since perception is our only true sense of reality, both would be right in this case. But in general, when it comes to feelings in this relationship, there is no superficiality. The great times seem phenomenal and the hard times seem catastrophic…maybe a little bipolar at times.
There are also high ideals and expectations associated with this relationship. Both individuals see the relationship as a source for their own growth and something that makes them better then they are on their own. In combination with the intensity of feelings that accompanies it, this relationship certainly feels to both individuals like it is in line with their ideals. Both may feel early on that they have ‘found the one’. While this may be true, there’s no way of knowing this until the veil lifts and the relationship experiences reality. They may also find that they feel that they have joined together for some ideal purpose like saving the polar bears or feeding the poor, for example. This would be the more useful expression of this energy rather than squandering it dreaming about how perfect they perceive the partner or the relationship to be.
Relationships that have a high level of initial feelings and a sense of idealism often have a significant purpose in our lives that lies underneath this veil. The great feelings and idealism just act as a lour that draws us in just deep enough to get snagged by the real intent of the relationship. Despite all of the intense emotional experiences and idealism associated with this pairing, the ultimate reason for the formation of this particular relationship is the opportunity for each individual to release their expectations and to re-write their rules regarding relationships and what in means to be secure.
This partnership is like nothing these two have ever experienced. The deeper they go, the more opportunities they have to see how their initial expectations are not being met. This can either lead to a feeling of defeat or to opportunities to change the way each person thinks about certain situations. The verbal expression is such that issues do not tend to fester and pop up later. Instead issues are discussed as quickly as they come up which can help process the transformations taking place in the moment rather than allowing things to build up to a point and then be released all at once. This constant processing (i.e. arguing) can be tiring but it can also be invigorating if each individual sees the discussions as opportunities to see things differently and to change their expectations. The high sense of romance and idealism also creates a veil under which they feel it is worth it to do this processing even though it is these very ideals that are being put under a microscope for inspection in the first place.
The energies in this relationship work best if there is a way for the individuals to work together as a team in some way. Although, if one is stronger than the other, the weaker one may succumb to the demands and expectations of the stronger one, thereby sacrificing their equal input. Working together as equals is part of the challenge of this partnership.
Since part of what she sees in him is a business partner-type and someone that could ultimately raise her status professionally, she likely sees the potential of this partnership in terms of working together for some cause. Since she enjoys a partner that expands her awareness and with whom she can experience intensity, she may actually enjoy the eye-opening intense arguments that spring up along the way. But because she already has a tendency to sacrifice herself and her creativity for her partners, she may be tempted to become the person her partner desires her to be so that she can ‘tag along’ with him rather than express her authentic creativity within the relationship. Falling into an unequal situation is one of the more negative potentials of this relationship and she is personally susceptible to inequality regardless of who her partner is. But this relationship does offer her an opportunity to ensure that she is expressing herself authentically by introducing her to potential situations where she may be tempted to sacrifice herself in order to preserve the relationship.
Since part of what he sees in her is a very fun and creative influence and someone that stirs his heart, he is likely to experience the more idealistic and romantic components of the relationship. And since he may get a little lost in that wonderland of good feelings, he may be more heavily affected by being brought down to earth and having to see the relationship and his partner for what they actually are. It is in these times that he will begin to project his feminine image of the rigid task-master onto his partner. He may also get so wrapped up in his own creations sometimes that he may forget that his partner also needs freedom to be herself as well. This relationship challenges him to let go of his expectations of what a woman should be and to let go of his insecurities surrounding allowing her the same freedom that he demands for himself.
Advice
Relationships can last as long as we want them to last. It all depends on what we are willing to put into them and whether or not the relationship itself fosters our own personal development.
The best advice for a relationship like this is to first of all, enjoy the good feelings that it fosters. Not every relationship has this kind of ‘feel-good’ component to it. Enjoy it for what it’s worth but don’t allow over-idealistic expectations ruin things that may be wonderful in their own right. Maintaining equality is also a key component to keeping a relationship like this healthy. That means that both individuals need to be allowed to have their freedom of self expression even at the expense of insecurities that may arise. In fact, part of this relationship is burning away those insecurities that may have prevented expansion into new territory in the past. Finally, joining together for some kind of altruistic cause or for the accomplishment of some deeply held dream (as long as it’s mutual) would be the most positive expression of this energy in the long run. Just avoid the temptation to sacrifice one’s own dreams for the dreams of the other (especially in her case).
Also, if there is one thing this relationship lacks it is a sense of groundedness. On an individual level, both of them need a way for their creations to be implemented in a practical and tangible way for their life paths. While this pairing is full of ideals and dreams it ultimately would need a sensible and tangible application for it to survive. This type of couple may feel as though they should be working together but they may not really know exactly what they should be working on.
In conclusion, releasing expectations and finding a grounded sense of purpose for the direction of the relationship are the ultimate goals toward keeping this relationship alive in the long run. Whether the relationship lasts or not, the lessons learned include an expanded sense of possibility, more realistic expectations, and an awareness of equality versus sacrifice within partnerships.
And so it is…
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